Child refuses to potty train? You’re not alone! Find practical tips and relatable advice to help your child finally ditch the diapers.
“I’ve been trying for months, and my son just won’t do it! I’m at a loss. Will he go to kindergarten in diapers??”
Oh, mama, I hear you. I remember those days, pacing the bathroom floor, clutching our next change of clothes, wondering if my son would ever grasp the concept of peeing in a porcelain throne.
I envisioned him heading off to kindergarten with a backpack and a diaper bag, mortified by the whispers of other parents. (Spoiler alert: He did eventually figure it out. And yours will too. They won’t go off to college in diapers, I promise.)
Potty training is a wild ride, full of ups, downs, and, well, accidents. You’ll feel like you’re in a constant battle of wills with a tiny human who suddenly has very strong opinions about where their bodily fluids should go.
But take heart! If your child refuses to potty train, there are strategies you can try to turn this potty training standoff into a potty training triumph.
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Table of Contents
Crack the Code: Why the Potty Resistance?
Before we launch into strategies, let’s play detective. Why is your little one staging a sit-in against the potty? It’s like they’ve built a fortress of diapers and they’re not budging.
Here are a few common reasons for the potty protest:
- Fear or Anxiety: Imagine being a toddler faced with this strange, new contraption. The potty might seem huge and intimidating, the flush might sound like a roaring monster, or they might be anxious about pooping in a different place. My son was terrified of the automatic flushers in public restrooms – the sudden whoosh of water sent him running!
- Control Issues: Ah, the terrible twos (and threes!). This age is all about asserting independence. “No!” becomes their favorite word, and potty training might be their way of saying, “You’re not the boss of me!”
- Not Ready: Sometimes, despite our best efforts and Pinterest-worthy potty charts, they’re just not developmentally ready. Their brains and bodies might need a little more time to catch up.
- Negative Associations: Maybe a past potty training attempt didn’t go so well. A forceful approach or an accidental scare could have created a negative connection to the whole experience.
- Physical Discomfort: Sometimes, there’s an underlying medical condition, like constipation, making the process uncomfortable. If you suspect this, it’s always best to check in with your pediatrician.
If any of these sound like they might be the reason your child refuses to potty train, read on for 5 strategies to help move things along.
1.) Potty Time = Party Time!
If fear or anxiety is fueling the potty rebellion, it’s time to ditch the drill sergeant approach and embrace the fun! Try to make the potty their new best friend, not a scary enemy.
- Read All the Potty Books: Seriously, stock up on some fun picture books about going potty. We had a whole library of them! P is for Potty! by Naomi Kleinberg was a favorite, and A Potty for Me! by Karen Katz sparked some hilarious conversations. Reading these books together can normalize the process and ease their fears.
- Find the “Perfect” Potty: Let them pick out a fun, themed potty seat. Maybe it’s a firetruck with a siren that goes off when they “put out the fire,” or a princess throne fit for royalty. The more exciting the potty, the more likely they are to embrace it.
- Rewards, Rewards, Rewards! Ah, the power of positive reinforcement! Use a potty training reward chart with stickers, small toys, or special privileges. My son was motivated by tiny dinosaurs, and each successful potty trip earned him a new prehistoric sticker pal.
- Sing a Potty Song: Make up a silly song about going potty or find one online. We had a whole routine with hand motions and silly voices. This turned potty time into a giggle fest!
- Potty Videos: YouTube is a treasure trove of potty training videos. Find some catchy tunes and engaging characters that will get your child excited about using the potty.
2.) CEO of Potty Time
If your child is all about control (aren’t they all at this age?), it’s time to hand over the reins (or at least make them think they’re in charge).
- Flush the Potty: Make them the official “Flusher.” This simple act can give them a sense of ownership and control over the process.
- Underwear Shopping Spree: Let them pick out their own big-kid underwear. Spiderman? Paw Patrol? Sparkly unicorns? The more they love their underwear, the more they’ll want to wear it! We made a special trip to the store and let my son choose his favorites.
- Potty Schedule Power: Involve them in creating a potty schedule. Let them choose some of the times they want to try using the potty. This gives them a sense of agency and makes them feel like they’re part of the decision-making process.
- Choice Overload: Give them choices at every step. Which bathroom do they want to use? Which potty seat? Which soap? Even if you’re subtly guiding them toward the “right” choices, the illusion of control can make a big difference.
3.) Turning That Potty Frown Upside Down
If past potty training attempts have left your child with a negative association, it’s time to do some damage control. We need to create a positive and encouraging environment where the potty is seen as a friend, not a foe.
- Bathroom Spa Day: Make the bathroom a comfortable and inviting space. Add some fun decorations, soft rugs, and maybe even some calming music. We put up a colorful shower curtain and added a basket of bath toys to make the bathroom more appealing.
- Encouragement and Patience: This is where we need to channel our inner zen masters. Offer tons of praise and encouragement, even for small successes. Celebrate every drop in the potty like it’s a winning touchdown! And remember to breathe. This too shall pass.
- Tag Team: Sometimes, a fresh perspective can work wonders. Ask a trusted family member or friend to help with potty training. A trip to the potty with my husband was always a nice change of pace for my son.
4.) Ready, Set, Potty? (Maybe Not Yet…)
Sometimes, no matter how many tricks we have up our sleeves, our little ones just aren’t ready. And that’s okay! It’s like trying to force a flower to bloom before its time.
If you’ve tried everything and your child is still resisting, it might be time to take a break and try again in a couple of months. In the meantime, keep an eye out for these signs of readiness:
- Potty Curiosity: Are they showing interest in the potty or watching others use the bathroom?
- Dry Spells: Are they staying dry for longer periods?
- Following Instructions: Can they understand and follow simple instructions?
- Big Kid Dreams: Are they expressing a desire to wear underwear or be “like mommy and daddy”?
5.) Checking In with the Doc
If you suspect physical discomfort or a medical condition might be contributing to the potty problems, don’t hesitate to talk to your child’s pediatrician. They can help rule out any underlying issues and offer advice.
I remember having a conversation with our pediatrician because my son was exceptionally stubborn about potty training. Hearing how many kids struggle with this milestone and what warning signs to look out for gave me a lot of peace of mind.
Related Posts:
- 11 Quick Tips for Stubborn Potty Trainers – What finally worked for us!
- 7 Crystal Clear Signs Your Child is Ready to Potty Train
Potty Training Hacks
When your child refuses to potty train it can throw the whole house out of whack. Here are a few extra tips to help you navigate the potty training maze:
- Consistency is Key: Stick to a routine as much as possible. Make potty time a regular part of your day, even if it means setting a timer.
- Patience, Patience, Patience: I know, I know, easier said than done. But potty training takes time, and every child is different. Try to embrace the journey, even with its messy moments.
- Accidents Happen: Don’t get discouraged by setbacks. They’re a normal part of the process. Just keep calm, clean it up, and keep moving forward.
- Teamwork Makes the Dream Work: Involve your child in the process. Let them help choose potty training supplies and create a reward chart. The more invested they are, the more likely they are to cooperate.
- Timer Trick: Use a timer to remind your child to try using the potty regularly. This can help them develop a sense of awareness and prevent accidents.
When to Call in the Pros
If you’ve tried everything and you’re feeling overwhelmed and frustrated, don’t hesitate to seek professional help. A therapist or pediatrician can offer additional support and guidance. You don’t have to go through this alone!
Most kids figure out potty training eventually, but some need that extra bit of help. What matters most is helping them through this transition as smoothly as possible.
You’ve Got This, Mama (and Papa!)
When your child refuses to potty train, it can feel like more than just a challenging adventure. But with patience, consistency, and a little creativity, your child will get there. And remember, one day when you’re sending them off to college sans diapers you’ll look back on these days and laugh.
Want more potty training tips and tricks? Check out my other blog posts on potty training here. And don’t forget to grab these potty training charts that worked wonders for my son.
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Candice is a mom of 3 who has been homeschooling since 2013. She has an A.A.S. in Early Childhood Studies and cares deeply about helping other parents get the information and resources they need to help them homeschool their children with confidence.