The 8 Most Common Mistakes Parents Make When Potty Training

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Potty training trouble? You might be making one of these potty training mistakes. Learn the 8 most common pitfalls parents make.

Potty training. Just the phrase itself can send shivers down a parent’s spine. Images of puddles on the floor, endless laundry cycles, and battles of will might flood your mind.

But what if I told you it doesn’t have to be this way?

After 3 kids, working in a daycare, and running one from home, I’ve potty trained more than my fair share of children. I remember those days filled with anticipation, frustration, and the occasional triumphant “I did it!”.

Now that my potty training days are over, I can look back and see where I stumbled, what I did right, and what I wish I’d known from the start.

Today I want to share that knowledge with you so you can keep potty training from turning into a battleground.

Once you understand what NOT to do, you’ll be well-equipped to create a smoother, more positive experience for you and your child.

Disclosure: This post may contain affiliate links which I’m happy to promote. All thoughts and opinions are my own. Much love & thank you for your support. To learn more about my policy, click here.

8 Mistakes to Avoid When Potty Training

I’ll give it to you straight – potty training ain’t easy! Your child will figure it out, but there are some common mistakes you need to be aware of to keep the experience a positive one for everyone involved.

Mistake #1: Starting too early

The first potty training mistake to avoid is to start too early. Eagerness is understandable, but starting too early can backfire.

If your child isn’t physically or emotionally ready, it can lead to frustration and a longer potty training journey.

With my oldest, I was so eager to start potty training I began before she was truly ready. I felt like she should be ready and I worried about her being left behind.

Starting the process too early caused it to last for months! I was so tired of cleaning up accidents by the time she finally got it I could barely look at my floor cleaner.

What to do instead:

Wait until your child shows clear signs of readiness. This might include:

• Showing interest in the potty or underwear
• Staying dry for longer periods (2 hours or more)
• Having regular and predictable bowel movements
• Understanding and following simple instructions
• Expressing a desire to use the potty
• Being able to pull their pants up and down

With my second child, I waited until she showed clear signs of readiness, and it was a much quicker and smoother experience.

Mistake #2: Pressure and punishment

Another big potty training mistake to avoid is to put too much pressure on your child. Potty training should be a positive experience.

Harsh words, punishments, or shaming can create anxiety and resistance in your child.

I’ve seen this lead to overnight bedwetting, the whole process stalling out, and even painful constipation for the child.

Not to mention, if you’ve fallen into mistake #1 as well, you might punish your child for something they have no control over. Children can’t potty train until they’ve hit certain physical and developmental milestones.

Punishing them for something they can’t do is unfair to the child and frustrating for everyone involved.  

What to do instead:

Focus on encouragement, praise, and celebrating small victories. Use positive reinforcement techniques, such as potty charts, stickers, small treats, or verbal praise for every successful potty trip.

When potty training becomes a source of excitement and fun, your child will be much more motivated to work toward this goal with you.

Mistake #3: Inconsistency

Another common potty training mistake parents make is to be inconsistent. Consistency isn’t just nice, it’s key to potty training success!

Imagine this: one day you praise your child for every attempt to use the potty, and the next day you’re frustrated and scold them for accidents. Or maybe you’re diligent about reminding them to go potty at home, but when you’re out and about, you let it slide.

These inconsistencies send mixed signals to your child, making it harder for them to understand what’s expected of them.

What to do instead:

• Establish a routine and stick to it: Set regular potty breaks throughout the day, especially after waking up, before meals, and before bedtime.
• Use consistent language: Use the same words and phrases when talking about potty training, whether it’s “go potty,” “use the toilet,” or something else.
• Be consistent with rewards: If you use a reward system or potty chart, make sure you offer rewards consistently for successful potty trips.

With my son, my most stubborn potty trainer, I had to set a timer to make sure we made regular trips to the potty. A bit of a pain, but it helped us make big steps toward getting him to use the toilet.

Mistake #4: Ignoring accidents

Accidents are inevitable, but how you handle them matters. You don’t want to ignore or dismiss them.

When trying to keep things positive, it’s possible to swing too far in the other direction. You don’t want to shame your child for accidents or punish them, but sweeping them aside doesn’t help them learn from them either.

Your child needs to acknowledge what happened and connect the dots between the accident and using the potty. 

What to do instead:

• Acknowledge the accident: “Uh oh, it looks like you had an accident. That’s okay, let’s get you cleaned up.”
• Help your child understand: “Did you feel your tummy tell you it was time to go potty? Next time, let’s try to get to the potty before it comes out.”
• Involve your child in the cleanup: “Can you help me wipe this up? Thank you for being such a good helper.”

Related Posts:

• 11 Quick Tips for Stubborn Potty Trainers – What finally worked for us!
• 5 Easy Things to Try When Your Child Refuses to Potty Train
• 7 Crystal Clear Signs Your Child is Ready to Potty Train

Mistake #5: Lack of preparation

Going into potty training without proper preparation is like setting off on a road trip without a map. You’ll get lost along the way, and there will likely be meltdowns (from both you and your child!).

With my oldest daughter, I didn’t have much of a plan or system. I thought if I introduced her to the potty and showed her what to do, the rest would work itself out. Boy, was I wrong!

We quickly found ourselves in a cycle of accidents, frustration, and confusion.

What to do instead:

Have a plan in place. There are no hard and fast rules you have to follow, but here are some helpful suggestions:

• Gather the necessary supplies: This might include a potty chair, training pants, cleaning supplies, a step stool, potty charts, and fun books or videos about potty training.
• Create a comfortable potty area: Make sure the potty chair is in a convenient and accessible location. You might want to add some decorations or favorite toys to make it more inviting.
• Introduce the potty gradually: Let your child get familiar with the potty chair before you start. Let them sit on it fully clothed, read books about potty training, and watch you or older siblings use the toilet.
• Develop a plan: Decide on a potty training method that works for your family and stick to it as consistently as possible.
• Prepare yourself mentally: Potty training can be challenging, so prepare yourself for setbacks and celebrate small victories along the way.

Mistake #6: Comparing your child to others

A potty training mistake I see most parents fall into is to compare their child to others. Whether it’s comparing them to other kids at school, cousins, neighbors, or even their siblings.

It’s what caused me to start potty training my oldest too early.

After seeing kids at the daycare I worked at potty trained by 18 months, I began to wonder why my daughter was still in diapers at 2.5 years old.

The reality is every child develops at their own pace, and there’s no one-size-fits-all timeline for potty training. But it can be easy to fall into the trap of comparing if you aren’t careful. 

What to do instead:

• Focus on your child’s individual progress: Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and offer encouragement during setbacks.
• Avoid social media comparisons: It’s easy to get caught up in the highlight reel of other parents’ potty training journeys on social media. Remember everyone’s experience is different, and what works for one child may not work for another.
• Trust your instincts: You know your child best. If you feel they’re not ready or need a break, don’t be afraid to adjust your approach or take a step back.
• Remember that potty training is not a race: There’s no prize for finishing early. (In fact, once you get past the potty training stage, no one talks about it!) The most important thing is that your child learns to use the potty comfortably and confidently.

Mistake #7: Giving up too soon

Potty training can be challenging, but don’t throw in the towel at the first sign of difficulty. It’s easy to get discouraged when you encounter a string of accidents or your child seems to resist potty training altogether. But remember, potty training is a process, and there will be ups and downs along the way.  

What to do instead:

• Take a break: If you feel frustrated or overwhelmed, take a break from potty training for a little while. This can help both you and your child reset and approach it with fresh energy.
• Reassess your approach: If your current method isn’t working, try a different approach. There are many different potty training philosophies, so find one that resonates with you and your child.
• Focus on the positive: Celebrate every success, no matter how small, and offer encouragement during setbacks.
• Remember it’s okay to ask for help: If you’re struggling, don’t hesitate to reach out to your pediatrician, a child development specialist, or other parents who have successfully navigated potty training.
• Believe in your child: Trust that your child will eventually learn to use the potty, even if it takes longer than you expected.

Mistake #8: Not involving caregivers

The last common potty training mistake most parents make is to not involve their child’s caregivers. Consistency across the board is crucial for successful potty training.

Communicate your strategies and expectations clearly with babysitters, grandparents, and daycare providers. Think of it like a potty training relay race. If everyone doesn’t run in the same direction with the same baton-passing technique, you’ll drop the ball!

What to do instead:

Here are some suggestions for getting everyone on the same page:

• Have a potty training meeting: Sit down with all caregivers and discuss your potty training plan. This includes your chosen method, rewards system, language, and how you handle accidents.
• Provide written instructions: Create a simple, clear handout summarizing your potty training approach. This can be especially helpful for occasional caregivers like babysitters.
• Check in regularly: Maintain open communication with caregivers and check in regularly to see how things are going. Address any concerns or inconsistencies promptly.
• Be flexible, but within reason: While it’s important to be consistent, it’s also okay to allow for some flexibility depending on the caregiver’s setting and comfort level. Just make sure the core principles of your approach remain the same.

FAQs About Potty Training

Still concerned about making potty training mistakes? Here are some common FAQs that should help:

When is the best time to start potty training?

There’s no one-size-fits-all answer, but most children are ready between 18 and 30 months old. Look for signs of readiness, such as showing interest in the potty, staying dry for longer periods, and understanding simple instructions.

How long does potty training take?

It varies from child to child. Some children may pick it up quickly, while others may take several months or longer. Be patient and consistent, and celebrate every small victory.

What should I do if my child resists using the potty?

Check out these 5 Easy Things to Try When Your Child Refuses to Potty Train.

What’s the best way to handle accidents?

Stay calm and reassuring. Talk to your child about what happened, involve them in the cleanup process, and remind them that it’s okay to have accidents.

Should I use rewards for potty training?

Rewards can be a helpful motivator for some children. Choose rewards that are meaningful to your child, such as stickers, small toys, or extra playtime.

My son loved his dinosaur potty training chart. Getting to mark his successful trips to the bathroom made a big difference.

When should I be concerned about potty training problems?

If your child is still having frequent accidents after several months of consistent potty training, or if they show signs of anxiety or resistance, it may be helpful to consult with your pediatrician or a child development specialist.

Final Thoughts on the Most Common Potty Training Mistakes

The most important thing to remember when trying to avoid potty training mistakes is that it’s a journey, not a race. There will be bumps along the way (and a few puddles), but with patience, preparation, and a positive attitude, you can navigate them successfully.

Remember, every child learns at their own pace, and celebrating small victories is key. So, ditch the pressure, embrace the journey, and enjoy this special milestone with your little one.

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